Apr 18

What I’ve Learned In Four Days

Tag: health,whiningDonna B. @ 11:12 pm

There is nothing that you do that does not require the use of stomach muscles. This includes moving your eyeballs from left to right.

What gives relief from pain in one area will eventually cause pain in another.

After you wake up a bit from the surgical anesthesia and get a dose or two of strong narcotics, you may be fooled into thinking everything is going to be just fine and want to go home.

A small incision is one that runs from the bra line to the belly button.

They don’t serve margaritas in the recovery room, but they’ve got some really good stuff in syringes.

Eating a cracker with zero saliva is very unpleasant.

I will survive.

5 Responses to “What I’ve Learned In Four Days”

  1. scribbler50 says:

    We all know the old Henny Youngman joke, “Doc, it hurts when I move my arm… what should I do?” “Don’t move your arm!” the doctor says.

    Well, if it hurts when you move your eyeballs, Donna, quit “making eyes” at all the young doctors!
    Get well soon.

  2. Jeff says:

    Of course you will survive. And then you will learn the accidental efficiency of hydrocodone and a cocktail of choice. It’s all good. And you’ll be even better.

  3. CGHill says:

    That bit about the stomach muscles? I’m afraid it’s also true of the hip joints.

    Make sure they give you a prescription for more Semi-Happy Pills. They’ll come in handy when you least expect it.

  4. Donna B. says:

    My original plan was to “save” a few of the happy pills, but the pain proved persistent enough that I took them all as prescribed. DarnIt.

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